1. Finger Trap

Think about a finger trap. What happens when you try to pull your fingers out? What do you notice?

You try to get away but it tightens up, becomes more painful, and you can’t get free.

What happens when you press your fingers in? 

It loosens a bit. When you lean towards a problem and release the tension and anxiety that it will provoke pain, it becomes bearable. When we’re in pain, our tendency is to pull away but that can make it much more painful. When we lean in, often there’s a little space there.

Maybe try keeping a finger trap around to remind you of it at all times.

2. Tug of War with the Pain Monster

You are in a tugof war with pain.

And you are struggling, struggling and struggling to defeat the pain. Now, you have got so focused on the struggle that you have forgotten your values - that you just want to be able to do the things that you wanted to do.

Try dropping the rope. It is easy to think about doing it. It takes a lot, lot more effort to drop it, because you have become addicted to the struggle. But you did it. Now, what has changed? The pain monster is still there. You didnt defeat him. But you are not struggling anymore, losing your peace of mind. You are more relaxed.

The next step is to learn to live with the pain monster. You will not struggle against it. You will accept it. There is no need to fight or destroy it.

Adapted from

https://www.themanualtherapist.com/2016/04/top-5-fridays-5-great-pain.html

http://askmagazine.org/learning-to-live-with-the-monster/

https://www.thecareerpsychologist.com/tug-of-war-with-the-anxiety-monster/

What else can we add or work on? Please let us know in the comments. No need to log in…